16th Sept Warm

Prelims results are mostly out, some of you gotten the marks you deserve, while others might show some lackluster, but continue to work hard k. You have another month to improve that grade you have gotten into something better. Don't belittle the strength and how much you can achieve in 1 month.

For some, I am extremely proud of your results. You guys know who you are. Believe in yourself, believe you can do well. You do not need to prove to others, you just need to prove to yourself that you can achieve.

Once again, I would like to stress the point that my 24 hrs hotline is open, I cannot guarantee a prompt reply, but I will definitely reply you back. If you msg me, and I don't get back to you, then call me. I might have missed it.

Most of all, I hope you guys are all gaining good experience from the last exam, and that will be your best weapon in O levels. Once you understand what you lack, you can improve on it.

Good luck, work hard, to all my important students and ex-students.


DDOJ:

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.

The husband has his lesson first.

After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?" asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."

The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway.

The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson.

The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway..... about 15 ft.

"That was great," the pro says with a straight face. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"

Adios!

10th Sept Windy

Haha I made use of you audience to make a romantic post, so I score points! Bwahahaha!

Nonetheless, to stray away from my relationship changes, and the little hype created over my last post, end of the year is coming soon. Another year is soon over, and we'll enter the O lvls and A lvls soon.

It's hard not to keep hounding you guys for work, but now it's all up to all of you now. My doors are always open, find me whenever you need help. I will always try my best to help you guys.


DDOJ:

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

Adios!

9th Sept Rainy

It's a very special day today.

I would like to dedicate tonight's post to a special someone.

Thank you for coming into my life, and you hold a very special place in my heart. I know after I post this, many people reading this blog will want to know who you are, there's no need to hide either way. No mushy post, just 3 simple words.

I love you.

8th Sept Rainy

It flooded today again with heavy rains in the CBD area. Friends working there, please remember your brollies! Or otherwise, swimming trunks and bikinis!

It was a boring 1 week school holiday, everyone had much to do.

Ruiyuan and Jeremy, lets go for supper some time, or maybe u can find me next week on one of the noons, a short lunch gathering would be nice. See if you can jio any other people, I'm looking forward to see you guys again. I haven't suan you for a long time!


DDOJ:

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts."

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Adios!

6th Sept Rainy

Slept with a bad position, and ended up with a really bad stiff neck. Almost cured by the end of the day, but ended up worse with another bad sleeping posture later. I can barely turn my head now as I am typing! Damn the sleeping postures. To top it off, think the bad position made my back hurt like hell too, I think I gotta admit I'm getting old. Turning 30 soon is so not fun!

Realized that this is a special year. My 2nd batch of students who took A levels, are having their A levels this year. I think I must get use to it somehow, to all of you kiddos who are taking As this year, work hard! It would be nice to see you land a space in the Universities. I have faith in your hard work!

Brand new day tomorrow, spend it wisely, all you guys out there who are taking exams.

Good Luck N levels! I will see you next year for Os, without fail!


DDOJ:

... After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:

The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.

The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.

The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.

The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.

The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.

The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Adios!

5th Sept Rainy

It was teacher's day and this week has been filled with presents and pleasant cards written, some of which made my eyes a little red. I know it's old, but I still wanna say that I really look forward to seeing you guys getting into the courses you wanted to go. Although it's abit sad to know that I wouldn't be able to see you guys so much after this year, but it's really nice to know you guys are working hard towards achieving your goals now. If I may add, finally. Hahaha!

I miss everyone of you, students, ex-students, friends. I decided to keep my blog alive more, will try to keep it on going as long as I can. I realise alot more people are reading this then I thought.

45 Days to go for O levels, work hard, love you guys!


DDOJ:

A 65-year old mailman decided it was time to retire. When the small community he worked for found out, they decided they should do something nice for him, since he'd served them for the past 45 years.

So, the last day on the job, the mailman went up to the first house, and the homeowner welcomed him in. They gave him a pile of presents to thank him for all his hard work.

At the next house they gave him a cheque for 100 dollars, and the 3rd house, a cheque for 200 dollars.

At the fourth house, a blonde lady answered. She was wearing silk pajamas, and was motioning him to follow her upstairs. the mailman had the best sex of his entire life, and when they were done, he went downstairs. On the table was a huge breakfast, with waffles, eggs, pancakes, the whole deal, and a cup of coffee with a 5 dollar bill underneath.

The mailman was curious, so he said to the lady, "I've had the best day of my entire life, everyone has been so nice to me, but I have to ask, what's the 5 dollar bill for?"

The lady replied, "I asked my husband what we should do for you and he said 'fuck him, give him five bucks', but breakfast was my idea."

Adios!