23rd Sept WARM

Its so freaking warm today that I thought my crabs might turn out tasty after being BBQ in their own tank. In any case, the crabs seems fine, but their master seems not. Pretty warm these few days, keep yourself hydrated before the exams yer know, you don't want to be sick during your papers.

Remember 7 cups of water a day. (probably bullshit, but you gotta drink some)

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away.

An accounts exercise a day, keeps me away.
(I'm gonna haunt you guys down who tends not to do work)

LITERALLY.

Anyway, DDOJ !

SHE WAS SO BLONDE...
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

...she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".

...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

...she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

...she tried to drown a fish.

...she thought a quarterback was a refund.

...she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

...if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.

...they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".

...she tripped over a cordless phone.

...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius".

...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

...it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

...she studied for a blood test ...and failed.

...she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

...she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

...she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

...she sold the car for gas money.

...when she saw the &quotNC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.

...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

...she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

...when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

Adios!

22nd Sept Warm

I thought the last quotation from my post was pretty true, got a lot of feedbacks from friends and people. Thus I feel philosophical and think I will modify that quote a little, from my own experience.

People do behave like garbage trucks, and they certainly do dump their shitz on other people when they couldn't find a place to dump it at. My point of view is as follows;

People indeed are garbage trucks.

However, more often then not we dump it on our close friends, be it family, relationships, or work related.

People who are close to you might be willing to take your dumps on them, and share your burden. However, not everyone is able to accept shitz all the time from you. We all must learn when to give and take, when to share our burden, and when to say no. Its a balance.

Close friends "should" open their hearts and listen, however, if people don't wish to confide in you, they might have better reasons not to. For instance, it could be that they didn't want you to worry about them. Or they simply don't care about you. Either way, don't take it personal.

Acquaintances "should not" be sharing my burden, however, if they wish to help, you should also consider to share them. No man is an island, we all need friends, and we all need to vent. Maybe, these are then really the people you should be considering as, "Close friends".

With all the bullshitz said and done, you should still follow the previous quote.
Don't accumulate your garbage, and just throw it conveniently at the next person available.


Its pretty sad to have close friends whom you think are close, to have them misunderstand you in the end. With that said and done, maybe they aren't the ones whom you should be considering as close ones then. Maybe.


P.S. Hear so many stories lately, I thought this post might be useful to open some of your clouded minds lately. Maybe with the exams so close, you start using your ass to think instead of your head.


DDOJ:

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.

"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Adios!

17th Sept Warm

I found this little interesting article which I found to be quite true. There is something in it which we can all share and learn, if you can't, then I wish you well... Lol.

Taken from someone's blog.

People are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.
Don’t take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.


DDOJ:

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME:
Greg Bulmash.

SEX:
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:
Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be &quotDo you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:
Aries.

Adios!

10th Sept Warm

When was the last time you think O levels was?
Back when you just entered your first sec 3 class on the first day of school?
Or when you finish sec 3 end of year exams?
Maybe after your mid-years?
Or now after your prelims?

For me, my O levels was just another end of the year exam.
Whether I pass it or not, it didn't really matter to me.
However now when I looked back, I was lucky to scrap through.

It was just playing, and having fun everyday with my friends, I kinda miss those days alot. I miss screwing around my school life doing nothing but only looking forward to having fun. Those were the days, and gone was it.

O levels are here quicker then you think!!
Nows not the time to be lazy !
Work hard and you shall get your results!!!

Because, if a monkey like me can do it, you kids can do better, hehe.

Something to brighten your day then!

DDOJ:

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."

Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.

The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Adios!

7th Sept Drizzles in the Mind

Decrepit skull, hollow minds, a bird's eye view of the decaying world, with annihilation and madness running amok. This is the world we live in.

However, I still find the warmth, the ray of light. The hope piercing through the dark clouds, rainbows after the rain.

Light shines through every cloud eventually, and the darkness will be chased away by the rays of hope. Should we embrace the light, or continue to live in darkness?

In case we do not realize, we live with unfairness all around us everyday, every minute. However, we do not think it is alarmingly critical, so much so that we feel depressed about our situations every now and then.

However, when something devastating happens to you, you lost your morale, and you lost your mind. Every minute, the unfairness continues to exist and happen around us, but this time, we take note of it and we think to ourselves.

"Why is this happening to me? I'm already sad enough, why do bad things happen one after the other?"

My dear friends, its not the first time bad things have happen to you. Your vision is simply clouded by your previous bad experiences, and when things happen again which are perfectly normal in your life, you start to see as though the whole world is turning against you.

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it.
Rather then living it with depression, live it with zest and life and make our lives a better and more enjoyable one. You had a choice, and you still have a choice.


DDOJ:

"Trying to be normal is the greatest abnormality in the world."

Becky Alunan

P.S. You cannot change other people's world, but you sure can change yours.

7th Sept Breeze in my Heart

Today is the 7th of September 2008.

Exactly a year has passed by.

Happy Birthday, Shirley.

3rd Sept Rainy

N level has started, and this is my 2nd batch of N level students. Its been rainy recently, and the weather's not very conducive to study in. Makes people want to sleep. Hope you guys have enough will-power to stay awake and get through your 2nd hurdle in Secondary School.

Some things you might wanna consider before papers:

- sleeping early,
- stop panicking,
- stop watching tv,
- stop making long phone calls,
- stop complaining no time and do something constructive,
- stop reading my blog and go to sleep.

Anyway, I found a nice video to help you relax. The video is really cute, but its also something that I hope all of you can learn. Laugh when you had a bad day.

Enjoy the short video then go study.

Hard Day, Happy Baby.



DDOJ:

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their Teachers. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is - it’s some flowers!” “That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. “I bet I know what it is - it’s a box of candy!” “That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son, Little Johnny. The teacher heldit up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked.
“No,” he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, “I give up. What is it?”
Little Johnny replied, “A puppy!”

Adios!

1st Sept Rainy

Its been an early day for me, the four masketeers, led by Mdm See, attacked me right in the morning. After breakfast, started their class which was pretty fulfilling I think. Everybody's advancing, even without them knowing it. They still don't realize they had improved, but if only they could put in more effort, they could do much better.

As what I had always said, less procrastination and complains, more work.

Heard so many juicy stories everyday, I think I'm fast becoming closer to the secondary school kids more then I think I am. For one, I'm becoming as lame as them. But I like it! Kids are wonderful creatures, they are so innocent, yet they try to be as mature as possible, as what people explains, part and parcels of growing up. Interesting people!

Word of advice to the troubled,

“Watch your attitude. It’s the first thing people notice about you.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr

DDOJ:

This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?"

He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?"

She replies, "I don't know if you're the man to talk to ...its kind of personal..."

Thinking he might get lucky, he goes, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss."

She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!"

She goes, "Can you give the manager something for me?"

The bartender nods...yes.

"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."

Adios!