31st May Warm

Last day before the school holiday starts, for most of you this will be a crucial period of studies. Try not to treat it as a real holiday, your nightmare is just about to begin. If it isn't a nightmare of studies to you YET, then I can safely ensure you, that all hell will break lose when school reopens.

Now its school holidays, next thing you'll know, its 1 week break, and then Prelims.

1 month after prelims, next thing you'll know, its first day of O levels first paper.

No time to procrastinate, because if you do, I'm not sure what will become of you.


Anyway, it was kinda pleasant surprise to see 3 monkeys show up at my place today, namely Semaj, Ynaffed and Nura. Show up in the middle of no where, and then finish all my xiao man tou, and then gone like the wind. They are so cute, in a weird way.


DDOJ:

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."

So Johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

- First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse...

Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

- Ok, now take off my skirt...

and he takes off her skirt.

- Now take off my bra...

which he does.

-And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.

and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says,


"Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"

Adios!

25th May Warm

Went to watch Night at the Museum 2 with some ex-students, was an OK show. Pretty fun, just don't be too serious about it and I guess you will enjoy more. I had a good time waking up an uncle in the cinema behind my seat, he was snoring. I found it pretty hilarious myself, why would someone enter the cinema to sleep, barely 10 minutes into the show? Maybe he feels paying $8 is good enough for air-con and a good seat for 2 hrs of sleep. Apparently his plan failed, due to his snoring. Tough luck, better luck next time.

Quote from the Movie;
"The key to happiness, is to do what you love."

Seriously some of you, stop acting like an idiot, wake up and see what you are doing is bringing you happiness or not. Your fake artificial mask doesn't cover your pathetic thinking, and it leads you no where. Happiness is something you strive for, not given.


DDOJ:

Good, Bad, and Worse!!


Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Worse: Your daughter has them.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Worse: You're in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a crossdresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Worse: So are you.

Good: You give the birds and bees speech to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.

Adios!

24th May Breeze

It's been a weird day, I ended up taking in 2 new students, one of which I have made her stood outside the class before few years ago. Shes one crazy bean, but I think I can get use to it yea? She insists that I update this blog, so here I am to satisfy her little request.

And to Dion and gang, I think they'll be able to catch up to you guys soon enough yea. Not really like what you guys said, I think they'll pick up the subject fast enough. Don't get your ass owned by them in the next exam, or I'll personally enclose you guys into the same room as Dion for 1 day, and feed him Jenna Curry to increase his methane level potency.


DDOJ:

Joey and Katie are sitting in school.

Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.

"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.

"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.

"Correct." Says the teacher.

So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.

"Correct again." Says the teacher.

So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"

Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"

Adios!

17th May Warm

Wake up to a lazy Sunday morning, and unexpectedly, the guys turn up in the morning. Ended up watching movie together at Bishan, well I guess after exams at least they do deserve a break.

Been watching drama the entire day, I think I'm beginning to transform into an Auntie soon. Nonetheless the drama was good, "Click入黃金屋" is a Hong Kong drama which talks about family life and how to treat each other's family members properly, and live happily together. Lots of things in it are actually true, but none that you emotionless kids are interested. Sigh, growing old is a pain in the butt.

Quote of the day:

There are people who unknowingly makes mistakes, and there are people who makes mistakes knowingly.

The first group can be changed, while the second group are untouchable, they already made their decisions, even if they know it's not what they should do. Just wish them good luck, we aren't obliged to be responsible for your own lives.



DDOJ:

Today's DDOJ is a little rude, but I find it so funny, I cannot resist posting it. If you wanna read on, just highlight below to read the DDOJ... u were warned =p
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.

She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"

The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"

And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"

The guy says: "In that case follow me"

So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"

So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"

Adios!

13th May Cooling

Today my mum pan fried the poor little fishes I caught the other day, and we had nasi lemak rice and long beans to go along!! Surprisingly the taste was fabulous, it was fried till the entire fish could be eaten except the middle bone. Really cool!!

















DDOJ:

Two blondes are walking down the street.

One of the blondes gets a pocket mirror out to see how she's looking.

She says to her friend. "I recognise that person in the mirror"

Her friend says, "Let me have a look"

Then replies "Of course you do its me."

Adios!

10th May Warm

I was taken quite aback by Jon Schimdt and his talent in song writing, merging both Love Story by Taylor Swift and Viva La Vida by Coldplay together in a wonderful piece of music on his Fazioli Piano with his friend Steven Sharp Nelson (cello percussion).

He wrote this song for his 7 yr old daughter who loves "Love Story", of which he brilliantly mixed in with Viva La Vida.

It is simply, wonderful. You be the judge of that.




DDOJ:

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that."

"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Adios!

6th May Warm

Today's class was all canceled due to exams, and as a result I decided to take revenge at the fishes again since yesterday's catch was.... lack lustrous...

Well... started with... 2 miserable small fishes....

















... guess what..... ANOTHER EEL BY ANDREW!!!

















... and the final catches of the day.... I won by numbers... Andrew won by size... my conclusion?

Alot of small fishes to fry for nasi lemak...


















Muahaha revenge for yesterday's lousy catch.



DDOJ:

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you do have all the equipment."

Adios!

5th May Warm

For the first time in many months, I went fishing again. So many interesting happened while I'm there, so I'll be a nice guy and list it out in point form.

- Vehicle got stuck in pot hole, and we have to push the car out

- I got the first fish, but my legs got attacked by red ants while reeling in

- Proved once again I am the cat fish king

- My friend fished up an......... eel...? .....snake? Freaking GROSS

My fishing experience once again ends up... unproductive yet FUN again !!!
I guess its all about the company, and less about fishing.
I believe its true for whatever you do, its all about the company you are with. =)


Mid-year exams are starting, I hope this mid-year is a good shocker for all of you, some for the better, some... its good to let you know you are not working hard enough yet. Time to rev up your engines after seeing your results.

I wish you guys all bad luck, so that you can see all the possible mistakes you made, and learn from them and hopefully not repeat them again. All the things you've done wrong, shows where you should be focusing your attention on in revision of your studies.

Work hard, study smart.


DDOJ:

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either !

Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

Father: How did your exams go ?
Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject.
Father: What do you mean, nearly 100 ?
Son: I was just a digit out; I averaged 10!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you !

Adios!