5th Feb Air Con Breezing

A special request from my new student in the house, she wanted me to write something really good about her. So from what I can recollect, I'll do my best here. To keep her identity safe, I'll use a fictional name.

10 things about Surelin (I tried my best!!)

1. 100% bubbly
2. 200% chatty
3. 300% fun
4. Likes to type in CAPS
5. Favorite phrase in msn is "HAHAHAHAHA"
6. Next favorite phrase is "LOL LOL LOL"
7. Likes to tie ribbons on other people's pet
8. Has a pair of eyes.
9. 1 nose.
10. Surprisingly... 1 mouth

A student that I punished long long LONG ago when I was still teaching in some fictional school call Iyed Secondary that wears blue in year 2007. Surprisingly, I get to see the whole bunch back during CNY celebration in school.

I think that kinda calls for a celebration ehhhHHH???


DDOJ:

The Perfect Worker

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle.  Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time.  Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks.  Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field.  I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with.  Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today.  Kindly re-read only the odd numbered
lines.

Adios!

3rd Feb Windy

I just realised I haven't been keeping up with my blog, maybe it was because I used to only keep my blogs for my students to read. Majority of them left their secondary school lives already, I think its time for my new batch to continue reading my nonsense.

Anyway, its already February, the last feb went past so fast and it was already O levels.

One of my crabs died right after my birthday, damn mosquitoes got in and corrupted the water, poor crabby with 7 legs died soon after. Now its only 1 left, I wonder how long he'll last under my students' daily abuse of overfeeding. If he manages to grows to akin a Sri Lanka crab size, I'll be pretty amazed considering what the aquarium boss told me about it not being able to grow.

Another wednesday tomorrow.

Nonetheless, good luck and good job getting into your choices of schools, wish you guys the best in whatever you do in the future.


DDOJ:

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
babies"

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"

"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" 

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um......equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we 
can get to work."

"Tripod?????"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she fainted!!"

Adios!
P.S. incase you guys don't know, go search the meaning of a surrogate. =p

14th Jan Windy

First of all, thanks alot for all you guys for the wonderful birthday I had today.

Thanks Sindy, Wayne and Amy for all the undying friendship through the years and Jack's Place dinner, Luv you all lots!

Thanks Amos, Ting Ting, Junjie, Chong Meng, Ken and Vincent for the chocolate cake, it is the only cake I have eaten through my birthday, and its exceptionally SWEET. (you guys kiss me one more time I swear i'm going to kick your ass to Johor)

Thanks Dionne, Yanting, Xintian, Mr Soon, Alicia, Shuana, Monica, Germaine, Huixian, James, Pamela, Deffany, Ryan, Celine, Hon Hey, Melissa, Sophie, Ruiyuan, Jeremy, Daryl, Arun, Seow Hung for the wonderful gathering dinner, I swear I enjoy this more then anything.

Day ends off with a drinking session with Alex, Adeline, Dave, Anthony and Catherine, thanks for the drink Miao! I swear also that my drinking standard changed from "SUCKS" to "SWALLOW".

Thanks also for all the birthday wishes through out the day, I hope we'll all keep in contact, and luv you guys lots.

Again, I'm gonna miss you guys, my ex-students.
Hope you all get into what you want.

THANK YOU, Terima Kasei, Arigato Gozaimasu, Gam sia, tank cute tank cute!!!


DDOJ:

What did you get for your birthday?

Another year!! (duh)

Adios!!!

11th Jan Windy

It has been a long time since I last updated my blog. I guess its resurrection time!

O level results will be out tomorrow, I know you guys are going to be getting at least a little excited over it. Remember I told you guys that O levels will be over and you'll move on to your next phase of life very soon, "in a blink of an eye"? Go ahead to blink, its more then just over.

I am not worried about you guys' results. You guys are my 2nd batch, and for a few of you, my first batch of students. You have all been mugging, and studying, reading, memorising.... lazing... playing... EMOing... BUSY BUSY BUSY !!!!

I trust you guys will do more then what you expected. Of cause if your standard is that high, then no point telling you this. For those who already got direct admission, good for you. For those who doesn't, if you need help in deciding what course to take, and what's the next road for you to walk on, I am always here.

Like I said the last year, I am no longer your teacher. We'll be friends, and friends will always be there for you when you need it.

Lastly good luck for your O level results.

Keep me updated about your results, I would love to go out to have dinner or lunch with you guys some times.


Miss you guys lots.


DDOJ:

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend has been cheating on her for some time. In a fit of rage she visits a local gun shop and buys a pistol. She then takes the gun to her boyfriend's apartment to confront him with her suspicions.

As she arrives, she hears amorous moans coming from within the apartment. In a rage she bursts in and finds her boyfriend making love to a woman on the floor in front of her.

She reaches into her purse to retrieve the weapon and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. In her grief she raises the gun to her own head. The boyfriend jumps up and begins to plead with her not to end it all. She cocks the gun, looks him angrily in the eye and says, "Sit down and shut up, you're next!"

Adios!!

13th Dec Breeze

It was a fun filled night fishing with my bro Allan and his friend. Caught a total of 15 cat fishes, which we gave away as we don't eat them, and 1 Marine Catfish, which my dad just told me earlier before I went out that he wants it. I'm not too sure of what the name is, but its supposedly the better catfish which is really good... I hope my mum knows how to cook it...

Anyway the 6hrs I was there, every so often, there was action. Lines and bells are screaming and people landing big fishes (except me... only small ones). However I was using my very light tackle, and it was really good due to it being light, I could feel small fishes fight it out with me. Best fight was the marine catfish, line nearly broke if not for the friendly Malay beside me helping me get it out of the jetty onto the land.

Well I took some pictures, you'll see!

The Marine Catfish I caught with my light tackle.


Next is the comparison of size with a 1.5 litre bottle.


Next is the light tackle... its a telescopic rod with absolutely not much strength to get fishes that is a little bigger then normal. It gave me a really good fight with the fishes!! Best part? Its only a $10 rod... hehehe.



Well it was a fun filled night, so much action with my light tackle.

Getting late, moving on to DDOJ!









Adios!!

11th Dec Warm

I've been updating not so frequently, but well thats me!!

Anyway...

Chalet Announcement !!!

Date: 23rd - 25th December 2008

Venue: Sentosa Costa Sands

Cost:
- Everyone $10 for food and beverages, or I will go broke.
- Everyone to buy a Christmas Present to exchange, budget is $10.
Please wrap nicely.
(come on its Christmas... spend a little wouldn't you =p)

BBQ on the 24th December, Christmas Eve, and prezzies exchange.



I will need a few people to help me confirm the total number of people going. I already have a few people in mind to ask... heh heh heh... ok la the usual suspects. If you guys get a call from them, please cooperate and confirm with him or her!

Also for my graduated classes, it might be the last few times I'll see you guys, I really hope I can see you all on either days, some of you didn't take group photos too and I hope to get it before this year is over.

Kinda miss you guys, try to come k.


DDOJ:

SENG, Beng, and Heng were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite at the top of a 75-storey skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the lifts in the hotel had broken down and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Seng said to Beng and Heng: 'Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.

'I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Beng can sing songs for 25 flights, and Heng can tell sad stories the rest of the way.'

At the 26th floor, Seng stopped telling jokes and Beng began to sing.

At the 51st floor, Beng stopped singing and Heng began to tell sad stories.

'I will tell my saddest story first,' he said.

'I left the room key in the car!'

Adios!!

3rd Dec Warm

Its been a warm day today, disappear from the world for 3 days since Monday due to a friend's chalet until today's noon time. It was indeed a relaxing 3 days trip, or maybe I should say 2 days 2 nights trip, and the only thing I had to worry about was what to do next after I wake up. Haven't had this kinda moment in a long long time.

Finally started the first class for 2009 today, it was kinda "refreshing" to start teaching again. You could say I was already bored to the edge with me being so free, and my friends still working 9 to 6 everyday. I practically had to talk to my crabs from boredom. Good thing work started already, hope to see the students streaming in soon, or I'll have to eat air next year!

Well chalet was kinda fun, with lots of fishing going on, and lots of relaxing and lay back style of living for the 3 days whilst lasted. Today came back home with a relaxed, but sun burnt body, to start off the first lesson of 2009. Bro had to call me down to ex-MoS for a drink. In the end, it was rather enjoyable, saved the fact that I couldn't really drink after being a goody goofy for almost a year without drinking. Girls tried to get me drunk, which I think wasn't really that hard if they insist. But you gotta give me some credit to be able to keep them off me, and keep myself sober through out the night to be able to compose this blog at 5a.m in the morning. Not getting into too much details, the night was pretty enjoyable, end of the story. No juicy details =p

4 hours later gotta meet my ex-students for brunch, god I miss them. Days with them... you hope to get a rest... days without them... you hope to see em. Contradicting eh? I'm seriously missing my ex-students already, now friends. As for Shrek, recover soon yea? We all gotta move on some day, the world won't stop turning for us, we gotta catch up eventually. Why not make it now? :)

DDOJ:

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"

George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom *poof!* the light goes on when I pee, and then *poof!* the light goes off when I'm done."

"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"

A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof!* the light goes on in the bathroom, and then *poof!* the light goes off?"

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

Adios!