19th Mar GLOOMY

The verdict has been released, the dreadful news has been received by post this afternoon.

I will be going to Taiwan for Army reservists from September 17 to October 11.

It will be smack in the middle of the N levels, and 1 month before O levels, which is in midst of your prelims. Sucky eh? I got no choice.

Anyway, I will try to ask them to put me off this overseas training for you guys, but I cannot guarantee it will be successful. Hence, I hope you guys will work hard first before I go, only then I can go off to Taiwan without worries.

Sigh.

So sad.



DDOJ:

General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"

"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."

"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too."

"I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."



I wish I could say that to my commander... hah

Adios!

17th Mar Warm

Just came back from Langkawi, and I swear that place is warmer and more scorching then Singapore, but its still a nice get-away I guess. The natural reserves are pretty cool, but the Taiwan ones are way better. However, you can't apple with oranges, different places though.

Anyway I got something for everyone, so come claim your prizes =)


DDOJ: (I made this myself)

Remix of Circus by Britney Spears

Theres only 2 types of people in the world
The ones that teach, and the ones that observe
Well Baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kinda tutor
Don't like the mundane work, gotta be qwerk

I'm like a ring leader, I CALL THE SHOTS
I'm like a firecracker, I make it HOT
When I put on a class

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Sunlight on me and I'm ready to wake
I'm like a performer, the classroom is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the SAME

All eyes on me in the center of the ROOM just like a circus
When I shake that fingah everyone gonna trip just like a circus
Don't stand there watchin me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a classroom just like a circus.



So animals, ready for classes? =)

Adios!

11th Mar Windy

Today I had 2 funny incidents in class.

Incident #1.

Ken was so excited about the financial ratios memorising test that the moment he stepped into the room, he keep chanting this...

"Bo~ pung chance bo pung chance~ Bo~ pung chance bo pung chance~"

For all you sec 5s who know what the punishment was... you obviously know what he was refering to by chanting all that, because Chong Meng was not prepared.

Guess what... in the end he also needed to copy!
This is call... "Kiang Jiu Ho!!! Mai Geh Kiang!!!"


Incident #2

Chong Meng obviously gave up even trying, so he had to copy all the ratios 20 times each, and there was a total of 11 ratios, and thus.... I let the picture do the talking...

Congratulations Chong Meng, for breaking my record on copying financial ratios!

Your name shall go down in history, an unbroken record of a whooping 220 times you copied!!!



DDOJ:

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.

Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie."

Adios!

8th Mar Great Weather Great Day!!!

First of all....

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Chan!!!!

You had one of the most wonderful weddings I'm sure, and wish you both a blissful marriage happily ever after. Joaquim you look like a princess, although Steve looks like a Mafia. Bwahahaha look after her well, don't make my drinking for you tonight go to waste or I'll murder you!!!

Congratulations again bro, looking forward to your first kid. =)



DDOJ specially for you both:

Marriage Quotes!!!

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

Adios!

6th Mar WARM

My condolences to one of my friend for his grandpa passed away peacefully yesterday morning.

Went reservists in the afternoon, it wasn't good news.

To my students, I may have to go Taiwan for training on the 17th September to 11th October, which is smack in the middle of N levels and O levels. Almost a month. I will try my best to be here, but I cannot say for sure, so my job is to train you guys before September, to get your A in accounts.

Freak bird shitted on my head when I was walking home. However, my reaction to that was very much a surprise to me even till now. I think I am finally doing what I always say.

Some of you who had good talks with me, might knew I always stress "Change what you can change, and don't let things that you cannot change affect you or your thinking and decisions"

In turn, what happen earlier was simple.

The freak bird shitted and it dropped on my head, smack on.

My first reaction.... "oh, bird shit"
Next reaction..........."get to the coffeeshop wash it away"
Third reaction..........."how come my reaction so calm"
Fourth reaction..........."i'm so gonna blog this"

To me, some people's reaction might turn out to be growing hysterical in the middle of the road, cursing and swearing and scolding all kinds of language bad words that you can find or know. However, doing all those only anger ourselves, and doesn't do anything productive and most certainly don't help the situation. What they should be focusing on, should be how to remedy the situation, and make the necessary changes fast enough.

My army's CO (Commanding Officer) said this today which I feel is very true.

In this world, you have to change faster then other people, or else you will be out of the race.

Which essentially means we need to constantly improve ourselves, staying stagnant is the most dangerous situation you can put yourself in, no matter how comfortable you may be with it.

I would advise all my friends and students, that changes comes from action and not talks. Knowledge without wisdom, is the same as plans without action. If you ever want to get something done, make plans and provisions. If you ever want to find the goal in your own life, make simple and achievable plans and provisions too. After all, talk is god damn cheap.


DDOJ:

SPOD (Stupid People of the Day)

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this
woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at
the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter
in to the ER right away.

*********************************

Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the
field decided to steal a life raft from one of the
747s airplane. They were successful in getting it out of the
plant and home. When they took it for a float on the
Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a coast
guard helicopter homing in on the emergency locator that
is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
employed here.

********************************

The instructor was demonstrating the wonders of static
electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a plastic
rod in one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he told the
class, "You can see that I get a large charge from rubbing
my rod..." That was pretty much the end of learning for
that day.

********************************

I worked for a while at a Walmart store, selling
sporting goods. As an employee of Walmart you are
sometimes required to make storewide pages, e.g.,"I have
a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint
counter." One night a tentative female voice came over
the intercom system with the following message: "I have
a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."

*********************************

A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching
or speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed
limit, the officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy
was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand
painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little
more investigative work led the officer to the boy's
accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar
trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.

*********************************

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for
a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd
lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under
the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire
floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He
proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As
he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the
hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my Bugsy."

Adios!

3rd Mar Gloomy Cloudy

Brought mom to the polyclinic to do check up, and chance upon this beautiful phrase, which I think works for everyone, students and friends alike.

"It doesn't matter how slowly we go, so long as we don't stop."

For some of you, it really doesn't matter how fast or slow you learn, it's more a matter of whether you keep trying, or give up some point in time.


DDOJ:

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't
people from Holland called "Holes?"

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a
whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and
you put your two cents in, what happens to the other
penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a
broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just
stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean
to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1
billion stars in the universe you will believe them,
but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have
to touch it to be sure?

Adios!

1st Mar Rainy

I'm totally hooked to this song, due to someone. Shes to blame for getting me hooked to this song. I love this song so much I'm gonna post the lyrics here.

However be warned, it's adult content and please do not view if you are highly allergic to abusive words or if your eyes will rot from reading trash. However if you feel this is everyday language to you, and can take a little bit of twisted humor, please place your cursor under this paragraph, and highlight the lyrics to make it appear.

Otherwise... if you are offended by such stuff, go read the lyrics, that's my message to you.

G W B - Lily Allen

GWB (Fuck You Very Much) Lyrics

Look inside, look inside your tiny mind
and look a bit harder
cause we’re so uninspired
so sick and tired
of all the hatred you harbor

so you say it’s not okay to be gay
well I think you’re just evil
you’re just some racist who can’t tie my laces
you’re point of view is medieval

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

do you get, do you get a little kick out of being small-minded?
you want to be like your father
it’s approval you’re after
well that’s not how you’ll find it

do you, do you really enjoy living a life that’s so hateful
cause there’s a hole where your soul should be
you’re losing control of it
and it’s really distasteful

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

You say, you think we need to go to war
Well you're already in one.
Cause it's people like you that need to get sued
No-one wants your opinion

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause we hate what you do
and we hate your whole crew
so please don’t stay in touch

Fuck you, fuck you very very much
cause your words don’t translate
and it’s getting quite late
so please don’t stay in touch

Well that's about it, sometimes I wish I can sing this song to some people I know. Sometimes people like this do exists, and they can hardly get out of it.

I would sing this song in their face loudly and cheerfully, while smiling and waving my hand at them.


DDOJ:

Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over. "That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.

"Well thank you.", said the herder.

"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.

"Okay.", replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman.

"Sure.", said the sheep herder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".

"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

Adios!