1st Aug Warm

Got some new crabs today, and they are super mini!
Let the picture do the talking yea!

Aren't these little monsters cute?
You can actually play with him with your bare hands too,
they walk all over you!!

DDOJ:

A real gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams.Then she pushes on her elbow and screams in even more agony. She then pushes on her knee and screams again; likewise she pushes on her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream in agony.

The doctor says,"You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken".

Adios!

24th July Warm

I was comparing students to the likeness of the 尿布 and Pampers.

Seriously, I personally felt that it was a good comparison, since some students are like 尿布, you input data into them but no matter how much you pour it in, they just overflow and spill out with nothing left inside.

However others are Pampers, the more you pour, the more it holds.

Some days you are just like a 尿布, while some other days you are like Pampers.
Just a matter of how absorbent you are, isn't it.


DDOJ:

All men have one...
I have one !!
You husband will have one!!
Your mother uses ur fathers one!!

Your auntie uses ur uncles one!!
A maried lady will acquire one!!
But a divorced lady will loose her one!!

A Pope doesn't use one!!
Ming Chang has a small one!!
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a long one!!
Madonna doesn't have one !!

Chinese usually have short ones !!
While Pakistani's have long long ones!!
After marriage ur husband will give u his one!!
Long or short it doesn't matter coz u'll have to take his one!!

What do u want? L O N G one / SHORT one!
Which one is ur preferred one? LONG or SHORT!!

What r u thinking of?(see below for the answer)

ur SURNAME....is what i'm talking about..what have u been thinking?
U DIRTY MIND...SHAME ON U

Adios!

11 July Warm

I think I should be more strict towards you guys from now on. Maybe less jokes, and more seriousness in the lesson. Somehow work isn't done, people still treat it as if O levels are 2 years away.

Evidence?

1. Work given, but not done.

2. Few weeks worth of work piled up, not done too.

3. Don't know how to do, don't want to ask me, continue piling up work.

4. Didn't bring papers, bible not updated.

5. Formats which are supposed to be remembered, cannot remember.

6. Answers which could be found in bible, say dunno how to do.

7. No time to do work? Don't crap with me say no time, when you can find time to go out with friends or watch TV. For your highness' information, O levels is 3 months away, N is 2 months. Cannot control for this period of time?

8. Worse still, I don't even know when I'll be able to see your royal highness turn up.


For some of you who might actually see my blog, and read it, if you are guilty of any of the above, then treat it as a warning. Your grades in the final exams are none of my concern, my life will still go on. BUT it will definitely have an impact on your future. Just because I try to be more casual with you, doesn't mean I don't mean business.

I already showed you the stairs, if you don't climb it, its your own fooking problem.


DDOJ:

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"

"Both son. God is both."

After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"

Adios!

9th July Breeze

Freaking left eye swollen, must be all the heaty food I've been eating. Potato chips are so evil, I shall continue to eliminate you by consuming every single one of you. No use hiding in your little bags, I'll tear my way through to you and chew every single crispy bits of you.

Deferment from going to Taiwan doesn't seem to go well yet, you guys had better not count on the idea of me being able to do it. Work hard, you should start now if you didn't. Secondary 4 ends sooner then you think.

I'll be at Sentosa the whole of friday, little nephew's birthday and we are all gonna play with them at Rasa Sentosa Hotel. Man... thinking I've to wake up earlier to come back for class on saturday... just makes me more excited... Hooray for work .. .... can you smell the sourness yet?


DDOJ:

Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level then beat you with experience .

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand."

Adios!

30th June Warm

This post is to my friend. Or friends.

You think you are in control, yet you show us you are not.

You think you are right, yet everything shows you are not.

You think the truth can be changed, yet the truth remains the same.

You think, you think, and you think.

And the truth says no, no, and no.

All truths said and done, I have done my part as a friend, your life is yours to control. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, you have changed. Something is blinding you, and your vision is clouded. However, when you are hurt, I will be there for you. Before that, don't expect anything from me. I will give you the picture below for your future reference.






















How you live, does not depend on others but yourself.
Your life is in your own hands, better or worse, you'll have to face it.


DDOJ:

What ever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
Whatever doesn't kill ME, had better run like hell!

Adios!

28th June Warm

With the H1N1 spreading like wild fire, I guess its about time we all start to be more worried about the epidemic. It isn't deadly, yet. However if it's left uncontrolled, the virus will mutate and get stronger, by then it might become incurable.

If you see the history of mankind, there are many incidents where huge populations are wiped out due to a single disease and epidemic outbreak. There was a time when Tuberculosis was deadly and had no cure, the black plague that spreaded as if it was the very embodiment of fire itself, and the humans were like dry wood, fueling it's every growth. If we don't control this situation well, there is very possibility it would turn out to be fatal. Bless us all.


Anyway, a note to my students.
If you feel sick, just let me know and I'll arrange a make up class for you. Your health, and the safety of all your fellow friends are at risk. So lets all try to make a little extra effort to combat this bad situation.


DDOJ:

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Harry both agree.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment, "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!

Harry replied, "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

Harry: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

Principal was looking restless and bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?

Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself."

Adios!

27th June Breeze

Recently I've been hearing people telling me that I haven't been updating my blog regularly. I suppose this holiday has been pretty hectic for me, but nonetheless, I'm still here isn't it?

The 4 weeks of holiday flashes past like as if holiday just started yesterday. All the deja vu has been flooding my mind, the memories of the past students who went through the exact same holiday, only to find themselves busy with exams after exams. Before they knew it, the question they were asking me were which course they should choose, which school they should apply. Then I will see new faces, new students, and it will start all over again.

One thing never changed, I am still me.

You guys are all important people to me (financially! ... ok and non-financially!). I sincerely hope, and wish you will all put in your best, for this upcoming last hurdle in your 4 years of secondary school life.

My job?

I will show you the stairs, its up to you how high you'll climb.


DDOJ:

Three moms, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, went out to lunch and were talking about their daughters.

The brunette mom said "I found a beer can in my daughters bedroom, i think shes drinking."

The redhead said, "I found a needle in my daughters bedroom, I think shes doing drugs"

The blonde said, "I found a condom in my daughters bedroom, I think she has a penis"

Adios!