29th May Stuffy

Today is a strange day.
.
..
....
........ yet tomorrow seems so distance, but next year seems so near... ....

Some of my self-proclaim highly boring motto to life:

- hurt no one, its impossible but you gotta try

- be strong, strength is often the ability to realize you are weak

- failure is not the only option, sometimes we focus too much on how we are going to fail in life and neglect how we should find alternatives

- be true to yourself, everyone wears a different type of mask every single day to every single person, we lead a plastic life - Superficial is in fact reality

- what do you think? this is perhaps the most used sentence I ever utilize on my students, becoz perhaps you should stop to think, why do you care what others think, you should recognize what you thought of, and self reflect, and then choose your next course of actions

- life is in your hands, ohhh come on, if life isn't in your hands then who would it be?

Never stop to think eh?
Never stop to think... you should start thinking.
Wearing a mask to others to be protective of ourselves is ok, but if you are doing it to yourself also, I think its pathetic and not constructive at all. Lying to yourself?
HAH, try HARDER.


My piece of message is not directed at anyone, just a spur of the moment, I just feel like talking nonsense to the air, so I might as well direct my nonsense at YOU! HAH !


DDOJ:

A young nun who worked for a local home healthcare agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a gas station just one block away. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up. The attendant regretfully told her that the only gas can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car two men watched her from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If that car starts, I'll go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life!"

Adios

28th May Rainy

What a mentally stressing day, not a busy day but don't know why, just feel lethargic.
Why the hell am I still blogging... .. .

DDOJ:

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me THE EXACT WORDS that were used to put the curse on you."

Without hesitation, the old man says, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

I feel marriage is like becoming Indiana Jones. Your life becomes an unknown adventure.
When its pronounced man and wife... sorry, Game Over.

23rd May WARM

What a warm and cozy day, huddling up in my high high high bed with the air-con on. If it wasn't for my stupid bladder wanting to let go, I think I would be curling up in my bed like a hamster. Total furball.

Uneventful day, scalded my right hand yesterday night while trying to boil my instant noodles, hurt the entire freaking night. But I guess I was pretty brave, and stupid at the same time. When the water pours onto my hand, I was standing there dumb-folded...
1 sec...
2 sec.....
3 sec...........
................................."OUCH F**KIN HELL!!! "

Anyway... DDOJ again... *sob sob*

A panda walks into a restaurant. He sits down and orders some food. The waiter brings the panda his meal. After he eats, when the waiter brings him the check, the panda takes out a gun and shoots him.

As the panda is leaving, the owner of the restaurant asks him, "Why did you shoot my waiter?" The panda replies, "I'm a panda. Look it up in the dictionary," and walks out.

The owner, now very confused, looks panda up in his dictionary. "Panda: A marsupial that lives in the mountains of China, eats shoots and leaves."

Pretty lame one, even I couldn't stand it.

20th May WARM WARM WARM

Such a warm day... I practically hid in my room the entire day until I had to work, and boy was I relieve to find myself working at home. I think back the days when I had to put on office wear, long sleeve shirt, pants, belt and leather shoes... a sure recipe to get a heat stroke in the midst of the afternoon sun. After all, office people dress with all the glamors... but its shitty behind it all... .. wonder who invented the office wears anyway, maybe just to make people look sexy. Or stupid when they have bad dressing sense...

Anyway DDOJ (daily dosage of jokes) time;

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side.

A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute."

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute." She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."

Poor guy, maybe its true a men's tomb is marriage itself.
Gdnite and adios!

19th May HOT HOT HOT

Exams for most are already over, overall I think you guys can feel some improvements (hopefully), and the time for you guys to do the holy 10 years series is about to come soon. Soon enough, you will see where you stand for the subjects.

In any case, my room's gone through some minor changes, like the windows still the window, the wall's still the wall, the door still the door.... But I think maybe Shrek might like the color though, some of you guys chose the color in my room, so no complains! If u wanna complain, go complain to those who chose the colors.. heh...

Daily Dose of Lame Jokes

An elderly couple was having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says, "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend.

The other man says, "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying, "Uh, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"

His friend replies, "A carnation?"

"No, no. The other one," the man says.

His friend suggests, "The poppy?"

"No, no, no," growls the man. "You know--the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you," the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Goodnight and Adios !

10th May Cloudy

I know all my students are studying hard for their exams (hopefully). Here are my suggestions to you guys for effective studying. (doesn't work for all)

Work hard?
- Please don't work hard, work smart. (ok smart ass tell me how its done)

Study Long Hours?
- Please play equally.

Emotionally stressed?
- Please de-stress, someone (or many) I know can do that by stuffing themselves with food.

Running out of time?
- Its not the end of the world, and most certainly not the end of your O levels, you got plenty of time to start instead of wasting it on saying "die la die la not enough time!!" (punt intended)

I cannot understand my work!!
- Time to stop mugging, and start asking.

My Boyfriend/Girlfriend is ignoring/unhappy/emo me!
- Time to change your life partner.

My Boyfriend/Girlfriend wants to make long phone calls !!
- Tell them its time to choose between 1 long phone call to discuss how to end your relationship, or choose a short and sweet encouraging phone call for your exams.

I need room to breath, I'm suffocating from work !!
- Time to find yourself a proper room, and start reading your books instead of using it as your pillow.

I cannot live without my computer!!
- Time to stop reading my blog and start reading your notes.

6th May Cloudy

Heres a ghost video for all of you...

WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED... ... not.. !

Well since u guys are studying hard I guess the least I could do is to add some laughter to your study life. Heres another one, although the main beneficiary is James.

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home remembers that he hasn't yet bought his daughter a Christmas present. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:

Work-Out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Divorced Barbie for $265.95."

The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"

The salesperson annoyingly answers, "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with:

Ken's Car,
Ken's House,
Ken's Boat,
Ken's Furniture,
Ken's Computer and...
One of Ken's Friends."

5th May Cloudy

As Shrek was complaining that he isn't laughing alot these days, I had to continue to post these lame jokes to entertain him slightly, and the following was the result:

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side.

The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I cannot believe how materialistic you lawyers are," the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"