31st July Warm

Today I got a new DDOJ that happened in my room.

Wee Tat: "Kid is a goat's baby"

Wee Tat: "Goat is also satan."

Gary: "No, Goat is Mutton."

Huixian: "Oei! Shut up and EAT !"

Everyone: "......................................................."

Everyone: "did you mean shut up and do your work? .........."


Weird people, weird reactions. Come to think of it, if a weird person make a weird reaction, doesn't it make it normal? Wow...

27th July Warm

Tick tock tick tock, everytime I tell people that after Monday, soon it would be Friday, and after Friday, its Monday. The scary part? I'm in constant reminder of that everytime its Monday and Friday, and its really less then a wink of an eye.

My pet crabs must have been sick of their food, dried shrimp. I should improvise and change their food sometimes. I'm just too lazy to. Guess thats part of the reason why I keep crabs. They rarely needs attention.

I also employed new caretakers for them, and I don't have to feed them anymore. If you are wondering, the new caretakers, I don't have to pay them to feed them. Instead they pay me. Yeah, my beloved students. Sometimes I really thought whether it's possible to teach my crabs accounts... right Yinle?


DDOJ:

I want to live my next life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. You
get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid , you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

Adios.

25th July Warm

Dark night,
I sat alone and gaze into the void sky.
Stars above,
I bond the astral sky with lines of my existence and muse over my life.
Clouds scattered,
Ostensibly ever revolutionizing, as I ruminate over their likeness to my being.

Dark night, with Stars amidst the Clouds.
Reminiscent of hope amongst the savage world with glimmers and sparkles which adorns our life that is slowly filling up with macabre.

Soon, it will be daylight.
The darkness will be over, but the Sun will not hold for long.
Savor the light, and know that even the darkest night will also meet the dawn.

No man's an island.
Hearts linked, akin the horoscope lines connecting every stars.
Lone stars may glow, but constellations shines.

When your fate meets the bottom of the well,
Then the only way left for it to move, is up.
Treasure your life, live your existence, and pass on your story.
For everyone's life is a unique tale, and thats how humanity survive.



DDOJ:

Mental Health Hotline and which number to press

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Adios.

24th July Rainy

Sick again, yet again. I think I need to get out more. But yet again I think I'll have tons of time to go out after the O levels. Don't know why everytime I'm sick, I have the same dream over and over. All the time its the same person. The same scenario. The same emotions. Its like rewinding a video over and over again.

DDOJ for Huixian:

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Adios.

20th July Warmmmmm

Today had a long long tuition class schedule, straight from 10a.m to 9.30p.m. However I saw everyone today had good progress for their studies, which I am very glad of. After all, I still need to build my Goodwill eh.

Anyway today we have a special DDOJ, all thanks to Sophie Goh !!

I told Sophie that I've trained my crab pets until they can do POA. I can show them the account question paper, then they will respond by lifting the left pincer if its Debit entry, and right pincer if its Credit....

and guess what... SHE BELIEVED ME!!

She even ask me to show her!!!!!!!!!

OOOO MM M MM GGGG !!!!!!
O O M M MM M M G G !!!!!
O O M M M M G !!!!
O O M M G GGG !!!
O O M M G G
OOOO M M GGGG !!!

19th July Rainy

People say bad things happens in a chain, but I say things will definitely happen, but whether it is good or bad is entirely up to individuals to believe which it really is.

Maslow hierarchy of needs, this thing got me thinking. The first time I know this theory of human wants and needs was when I was 17. It took me another 10 years to finally understand and go through what it means. Probably people who doesn't know Maslow wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, my 2 pet crabs are fighting and fighting every night, and the stupid aquarium boss still didn't contact me about the new tank. Pretty frustrating.

DDOJ for my working friends:

Useful Phrases at work.
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message .
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Bold wordings are my personal favorites, whats yours?



Adios.

11th July Warm

My nephew's birthday was just last weekend, and now its another weekend. I love them so much, they are so cute!













A hyper active 4 years old machine, and a hyper crying 1 year old milk drinking monster.

Love them lots!!


Anyway DDOJ:

The Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Women are impossible to please.... entirely!
Adios.

8th July Lightning bolts

The evening was filled with thunderbolts streaking down the sky, and my feelings right now is the same. I only have a few things to say to my students, or the youths that are reading my blog. If you don't feel like being lectured by me, close this webpage and go on with your childish behaviors again.



You guys only lived 16-19 years of your life, you think you know alot about love? You know what is sacrifice? You know what's best for the person you love, or what's best for you?

You young hot blooded frogs in the well, listen hard and listen well.

Maybe you have not lost someone close to you before, but just try to imagine if your parents or siblings suddenly leave you behind in this world, isn't it a more excruciating pain then your childish puppy love that you cherish so much? Or did you watch too much drama?

You do not know what it means to have a life that ends. When you are dead, you leave behind a pile of shit for your close ones to clear up for YOU. It happens to everyone, not just you or me.

To sum things up, you young kiddos with lots of zest going on and on and on about whats love and what you can sacrifice for it, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.

Wake up your bloody ideas, set your fucking priorities correctly to the exams, and stop day dreaming about your pipe dreams of a beautiful love.




Don't feel like posting DDOJ, all you kids are seriously fucked up to let this situation happen to you when its the final exams, the most important hurdle 4 years of your life. GO REFLECT.

7th July Sunny Morning

Many people have this impression of me.
- laugh too much
- no sense of urgency
- lazy
- smart ass
- easily "happified"
- leading a life that shouldn't be what my age's peers be living

Maybe more, but thats the gist of it.
If thats what you think I am, it is just because you see the option I chose in life, but you do not see the real me. Life is a facade, a wonderful parade of various different masks that you wear for others to see who you are, and what you want them to see in you.

To me, fabrication of "reality" is a constant process. We always fabricate "what ifs" and "this is" situations in our life. When we meet with difficulties in life, we like to blame it on this and that, and starts telling ourselves how unlucky and how unfortunate we are. That's the "this is" part of our life. When we see the outcome of our actions, we ask ourselves "what ifs" we chose this option versus what will happen if we chose an alternative.

Life is simple, you like it, and it works, you do it. What is soooo right or wrong about anything at all? Studies isn't everything, that is definite. But that only holds true if you know your direction in life doesn't require you to study and get a proper certificate. Work and money isn't everything either, that only holds true once you satisfy your basic living needs, then you finally can say money isn't everything.

I just had a lousy morning thats all, I got woken up early in the morning having to deal with very minute problems that was blown big. To tell everyone the truth, I had to live with it every single day in my life. However I do not need to show it in front of you. My problem isn't your problem, and personally, I do not have to let you FEEL it too, nor do I have to make you a victim of my emotions. On the other hand, if I have no confidence in avoiding letting you guys see through my fortifications to my emotions, I wouldn't go out with you at all unless you are someone I trust and love. To those people, I love you endlessly, my family and friends. And with you guys specially, my barricade to hide my emotions are virtually next to none. For that, you are the gems of my life, thank you.

I have a serious side of me, an emotional part of me, an unquenchable fun seeking attitude, and an inextinguishable flame in my heart of accepting people around me, for just who they are. My group of very important long time friends taught me that, and I learn my lesson dearly in the past.

When I was young, I often dread people say "haiz.. kids...." but I do not understand why they could be so vex with me. I mean, come on whats wrong with my attitude? Whats wrong is exactly because I do not see what's wrong with me. I do not see my own faults, I deny their existence, and I want others to view me as a perfect being. However, now I finally realize what they mean. Kids will always be kids, because they do not see the EXTREME sourness, sweetness, bitterness and the spice of life. For that, they will never realize what it means to be a grown up, simply because of experience and the length of time on mother earth.

Not just kids, as in real kids. Even adults tend to behave like kids. I call them the overgrown babies. With the body of an adult, but thinking of a child. The funny part is, the higher your age grows, the more you behave like a child again. Not everyone will do that, but I believe majority would. If you don't, congratulations. Because either you are blissfully living in a life of ignorance, or you are truly mellowed and matured. Maybe it is because they yearn to have their youth again.... fat hope. That hope is more obese then the cats reared by the neighborhood below my block.

Its a freaking long post, maybe because mainly I was woken up early in the morning to deal with shits. I didn't have to write this out to let you guys see too, but I felt it is something people around me can take as a case study to reflect upon themselves. If you still feel you are right, then continue to live in self-denial. Your life, I do not have to witness the end outcome. My life, I do.


Haiz, when people become old they really do become more naggy. I am starting to irritate myself with my uber naggy abilities yet again.

DDOJ nonetheless!

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period."

"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself."

Ohaiyo gozaimasu!!