26th Aug Chilly

Never fails to have the exam periods being really rainy and cold. Always the case every year for now, and I guess you guys better keep umbrellas with you. You won't wanna fall sick during the papers. After all, its only 2 months before your O level starts, and weeks before N levels.

A little something below:

Good: People calling me asking about homework

Bad: The homework was last month's

Worse: Tomorrow's exam.


Anyway it was meant as a punk, but I do know 1 or 2 of you is guilty of that...

Ok I'm exaggerating...
.... should be more then 5 or 10....


I remember the last time I said the same thing about the mid-years. The results should shock you and make you work harder, but now I see, even prelims doesn't really scare the shit out of you. You guys got guts, I gotta give you that. Damn, I'm beginning to see the old me in you... but the thing is, I pulled through, I hope you guys do too.

Anyway, by the time u read this, prelims for POA are over. You'll know results next week, so lets all begin to work hard... finally? Hahaha... less bull crap about working hard and stop thinking of excuses not to work hard yea?


DDOJ:

Pick Up Lines and How to Reject them.

He: Do you mind if I sit down?
She: Do you mind if I say no?

He: Can I buy you a drink?
She: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

He: I'm a photographer. I've been lookin for a face like yours.
She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been lookin for a face like yours.

He: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

He: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
She: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: Why? Are you leaving?

He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

He: Can I have your name?
She: Why? Don't you already have one?

He: Where have you been all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

Adios!

25th Aug Warm

My fish tank finally arrives! Some new addition to my crabs below =)


This 2 is my small ones, cramming together.


















This one is black with red pincers.


















This one is the most colorful one, the aquarium boss even said that it would glow in the dark!! =)




















More additions to my pets, and the fish tank is custom made, so that it can now hold alot more crabs then before, I'm so gonna get more of them!



DDOJ:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric,wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face,"but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.."

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

Adios!

22nd Aug Warm

PLEASE SUPPORT THE SPECIAL CHILDREN!!!!!



Presenting to you,
our very dear "special" kid, Bryon.

After the video, if you feel that you should support this cause, please donate to the special Bryon funds.


DDOJ:

Just watch the video.

Adios!

20th Aug Warm

Finally a piece of good news for a long time.

I'll be attending reservists in November 9, and will no longer be heading to Taiwan next month.


So you guys have to bear with me for the next 3 months.
Be prepared for HELL.


DDOJ:

A woman gets on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver says: "Holy sh*t! That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
In a huff, the woman slams her fare into the box and takes a seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her senses that she is agitated and asks her what's wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumes.
The man sympathizes and says: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she says, "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a great idea," the man says. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Adios!

13th Aug Warm

Warm Warm Warm everyday.

Happy Birthday, Ginny!
Although its 28, but since your boyfriend gave you a 29th candle, he is probably hinting you through the numbers.... yer know..... 29.... 2........ 9.................... !!


Dad has some issues with his stomach today, scares me to death. When people are old, and they get sick, all you can think of is pray hard it isn't something life threatening. Probably lots of you don't see it yet, but that's just part and parcels of life. Anyway he is much better now, thankfully!

I met something funny tonight.

This taxi uncle, he was playing some music which I thought was oldies. Turns out... it was a recorded CD of his own voice when he was singing in KTV!!

I'm not entirely sure that I have the guts to drive a cab, and play music sang by myself. But I can tell you, it's one of the worst rides ever. 25 minutes of pure ear torture, mixed with hokkien, chinese and.... THAI songs....... ALL BY HIM. If he wasn't driving, I might kick him in the butt.



DDOJ:

Today's joke is a little naughty, so if you'll easily feel offended....
why are you here in the first place anyway? =p



When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"First check for bees."

Adios!

9th Aug Warm

Happy Birthday Singapore!!!!

Ok... like I care.....

Anyway heres a video to entertain all of you, titled:

How to 按 黑 青, by 2 of my cutest students alive.
Enjoy!

Or how about their "successful" attempt at telling jokes?





You have to give them credits for being so "brave"!!!!






DDOJ:

There once was a bear & a rabbit that hated each other. One day they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each 3 wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forest." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the U.S. and all the rest were female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

Then It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

Adios!

8th Aug Warm

With the tight schedules, I guess I'll not be leading a normal life for the next 3 months. DUH!!

With the new crabs, I'm having a blast of a time with them, considering that its so easy to scare the shitz out of people holding it close to them with my bare hands. They are such cute monsters, you like Shrek and you like Monsters Inc... why are you afraid of the little crabs who are not bigger then your thumb? HAHAHA!!!


DDOJ:

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

Puzzled by her complaint, the librarian asked "What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

Adios!

7th July Warm

Today, I got attacked by a vicious beast.

Some of you older batches might know her... I got attacked by....

SOPHIE GOH

Firstly, she appeared at my house with her sister, then she says she misses me.

Next thing she did was walked to the living room with her tidbits and watch TV.

Next thing she did was laugh herself silly while we can hear her from in the room.

I wonder what's next... I guess she really "miss" me....


DDOJ:

One Blonde To Another

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

Adios!

1st Aug Warm

Got some new crabs today, and they are super mini!
Let the picture do the talking yea!

Aren't these little monsters cute?
You can actually play with him with your bare hands too,
they walk all over you!!

DDOJ:

A real gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams.Then she pushes on her elbow and screams in even more agony. She then pushes on her knee and screams again; likewise she pushes on her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream in agony.

The doctor says,"You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken".

Adios!