20th Aug Rainy

Strange things happen everyday, and the most unexpected can happen straight in your face when you least expected it. However when things happen, the most important thing you need to do, is to maintain your cool head, and handle things maturely by understanding the situation. One of the most dangerous thing a person can do, is to judge by using his own thinking, or just listening to another.

I believe in life, we all have to give trust in order to get back trust. I trust that even up till now, even when I see trust given out but only to see lies, deception and backstabbing being given back to me. But I still firmly believe, that is what I should do.

If a person were to doubt you, do not accept you, or treats you coldly, your trust given to that person is reduced to naught, however by doing so, you see the real him/her. It simply means, you've trusted the wrong person, shit happens, move on and stop complaining.

Thats what I will do, and will continue to do.

Thank you for trusting me and making me your friends, my friends. You are all so lovely.


DDOJ:

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I've got a confession to make before I
go... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also was the one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."

"That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I'm the one who poisoned you."

Adios!

19th Aug Warm

Today, Jocelyn made a nice drawing on my food which you all love so much. I think a picture says a thousand words, lets see...


As if that was not enough.... she drew this.........


Maybe we can call that... CREATIVITY. Hats down to you, I think you make a good dreamer, 110% qualify.


DDOJ:

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars laying around, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank to change them out.

It was a short line, just one lady in front of me; An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was getting alittle irritated.

She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”

Adios!

18th Aug Warm

A pair of evil eyes are looking at me while I am typing my blog. Make it 2 pairs. But well anyway, I'm still going to blog it anyway. She is threatening me to flip the tables right now if I don't delete this blog right now, which I most certainly will not. And now shes calling me an ASS. Take note, that this is in real time, and is happening as I type. She now picks up an eraser and threw it into my face, and I bluff her that I will cancel it to make her not throw it. And now she doesn't want to speak to me. Followed by another pair of evil eye. Ok make it 2.

The situation above is a true story. Sorry, make it a true horror story. No, lets make it a true, funny and horrible, and terrible story. And now the evil eyes have turned watery with laughter.

I can only conclude... with 3 letters... LOL


P.S. The people quoted in the writings are purely NOT fictional, and are highly dangerous and flammable. Please do not try to do this at home, without special guidance.


DDOJ:

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.

After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.”

“DAMN!” said the father.
“What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked.

Little Johnny’s father said, “This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”

ADios!

17th Aug Rainy

Through the years of watching people behave around me, something that still intrigues me is how people can manage to laugh their hearts out, at someone important or above them cracking a non-humorous joke. While the same joke is told by someone normal, they probably don't give a damn about your little speech, or just smile at your silliness.

I have to admit that I myself like to do this, I think its natural, and I think it's not wrong to behave like this too. However I feel if people do this too much, and tries too hard, it really disgusts me. One minute, they can be laughing at you silly, and when that VIP is gone, the face changes into something else.

For students: it happens to all teachers who have invigilator sitting observing the class. When you know someone is watching, you can joke with students, and speak to them nicely. When his gone, all your true colors come out from underneath your skin.

For friends: it happens to everyone who works for a boss. End of the Story. You behave differently in front of a VIP. Need I explain more?


Bottom line is, I don't think this is a wrong behavior per se. However if you know you are doing it, we should reflect and don't try so hard at trying to please others. Just my opinion, you can disagree.


DDOJ:

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”

Adios!

8th Aug Warm

When I knew that the schools are actually making their students hold hands forming a line from their schools to the next, I had a curious moment of my own. In my mind I was thinking, it'd probably be a nice idea, actually linking the kids together like the unity of Singapore.

However, the irony was the next part.

The entire event was;
- students skip school to avoid doing that
- people held hand for no more then 2 seconds
- the students rush to wait, and wait to rush
- prelims are around the corner, and they are actually asking the students to do that instead of studying
- other then laughing at how stupid they look, the students didn't really felt any Singapore pride
- and the most hilarious part? it's done when the Sun was blaring bright.

My hearts out to you guys.
After all, you are the stars of tomorrow eh?


DDOJ:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Adios!

7th Aug Rainy

The entire late afternoon to evening was cloudy and filled with rain at AMK.

Finish a hong kong drama today, was pretty good. Saw a psychology test in it at the last 3 episodes, where a group of 6 went for an experiment with 2 people conducting the test and explaining the results.

The test went like this:

Conductor: Now I will cover up this box with a black cloth, and here is a cube and a ball. I will put 1 of it inside, and each of you will take turns to put your hand in to feel what it is, but it must be very brief. After which, tell me what you think is inside the box.

The conductor subsequently placed a cube inside, and let the first 5 people touch it, and just before the last person came, they changed the cube to a ball.


Conductor: Now what do you think is inside the box?

The Conductor then ask the last person first, and he said its a ball.
He then ask the rest of the group while they all said cube in unison.

The Conductor then reconfirm the last person's answer by asking him whether he thinks its a cube or a ball again.

Last person: Its a cube I think.

The conductor then replied its a ball, and then removed the black cloth to show him that his first answer was correct indeed. He then explain the following, which is very meaningful.

Sometimes, the truth and answer is right before our eyes, but we refuse to believe in ourselves. Simply because, the others don't think the same. An answer from anyone could change , depending on the surroundings and the influences from other people. Many times, people already made their decisions, but are often afraid to execute them as they are afraid others might see him differently, and to behave differently, live differently from the others. Resulting in making a different decision from your original one.

It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that we lack confidence. Before even beginning to fight, we already lost half the battle. Such mindsets are set out to make you lose. And the scary part is? - We all went through it.


DDOJ:

A joke of different perspective and the power of beliefs.

It is all YOUR perspective – and you get to say what perspective you choose to believe. Neither one is wrong.

It's all in the punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

A Dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!

Adios.

4th Aug Breeze

With my current bed frame, I don't know if its possible for me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. If there is a choice. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, is it really a bad thing? I keep thinking and thinking, and finally I came up with a conclusion. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, is actually a good thing. Why? Because you don't get to do it everyday!

Prelims are around the corner, and many people are doing those as listed below:
- panicking
- finding a buddha's leg
- depressing
- emo
- praying
- mugging
- wondering whether the exams can be pushed back further

Good luck to all those listed on top, I'm sure you'll gather good motivation energy by seeing your prelim results, they should give you a good shock if you haven't put in enough effort. If you are still not in shock by then, I'm sure the shock will be on your parents instead.

GOOD LUCK!!

DDOJ:

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Adios!