27th Aug Warm

Its like 6.30a.m and I couldn't get myself to sleep. Wasn't sleepy at all, the Z monster totally spared me, at the wrong time. I think I should quit drinking teh-peng, it always makes my eyes open wide till the sun rises.

Funny thoughts running through my brain, suddenly I was contemplating whether to go take up a sport. I was even thinking of going back to Judo for some fun. Maybe I should go contact the old farts that still visits the schools, might be good for my networking for students too, haha. So old farts, if you are reading, help me out won't yer, haha.

I keep thinking back how I've passed my last 10 years. First I got into JC, screwed my school work, had lots of fun, and then got screwed by the lecturers again and whip me back into studies. Then it was army. Lots of screwing around also, got to know alot of important friends. Army was big time screwing around doing nothing. Ahhh... the lobo times.... And then it was my University days, met so many good people, and then... same old shit, I screwed around too much again.

Finally the days when I took up teaching, as introduced by one of my army friends (I thank you for that), I went into Deyi Secondary School.

I meet my first batch of students in 2006. Only then I knew that teaching in school is not easy at all. All those markings... anyway, saw my own business opportunity as soon as it reaches 2007. I had my very first batch of students from Deyi, whom I taught from day 1. Most of them are really nice young people, everyone of them unique and beautiful in their own ways. I start to believe that I have chosen the right path to work, and then left the school in June, and I fully concentrated on my mentor groups business.

Then came my first graduating class, Tucky, Ben, Jen, Cros, and alot others.

It seems like yesterday that they had just graduated. Now, its the next O levels.
My 2nd batch of students finally are graduating too. Lots of emotions. I know this batch very well, and are really a nice sweet bunch of people.

I never choose my students, as long as they are willing to approach me and learn, I never reject any of them. In any case, O levels are now upon them. Study smart, and don't ever regret in the future that you've not put in enough effort. If you are gonna have that thought, then drop the shitz you are doing, and put in more effort before I screw you upside down, and left right centre.

Good luck. I'm done screwing around my blog for now, time to go try catch some sleep. I took an amazing 20 minutes to type this shitz out. That should take away some of my energy and make me feel sleepy finally.


DDOJ:

Very funny telegram by a qualified teacher.

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed (Bachelor Of Education) Exams, which the father receives as: "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

Adios!

24th Aug Warm

Read on the newspaper that a Cuban taekwondo player was judged lost in the 3rd placing match, and he got so furious about the judgement that he landed a perfect score kick on the judge's face. As if that wasn't enough, his coach joined in the fun!

Amidst all that fun, I'm sure the player and the coach did feel some sense of satisfaction from hurting the referee. I remind everyone that you all hot blooded young punks have no idea what results 10 seconds right after having that little sense of achievement.

The cuban player and coach is now declared BANNED from all international and olympic games from the Taekwondo federation. Good. Now they have all the time in the world to go think how fantastic they felt when they hurt the referee. Of cause the real situation could be what we do not know. Maybe it was really a wrong judgement. Maybe they might be right. Maybe. A BIG maybe. Its all maybes. But, what is confirmed, is they are now forever banned from the game they loved. They have also let their country down, with their trust in the both of them to represent the country.

This is a lesson learnt for everyone, my friends and students alike. Hot blooded decisions, made without careful thinking of the consequences, often make you and/or the people around you suffer. You could probably tell a thousand reasons why you made that decision, but you can never argue the fact that you did something wrong, and you did nothing to stop that, just because of a spur of the moment's emotions.

If you are ever caught in a situation where you are entangled in the web of confused emotions, my suggestion to you is;
- review your situation again,
- redetermine your options again,
- measure what is important to you, and what's not,
- choose the option you feel you can bear the consequences with,

People often told me never to regret my decisions, but I beg to differ.

I do not regret. I merely look back at my previous decisions, and see how I can do better next time. I apologise for my mistakes, I'll admit I screwed up, and then I move on. I do not get stuck in the same vicious cycle of "I'm correct, I need to prove I'm right, I want all of you to know I'm the best and I'm not wrong".


My motto in life:
Change what you still can change in the future, and don't look back at the past which you can never change. Reflections are for champs, regrets are for losers.


DDOJ:

John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?''Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'

'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'

'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'

'Well, screw him!' said John.

'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'

Adios!

22nd Aug Gloomy

Day started off with tuition in the morning. Many of you have your prelims done and over with, some of you may be disappointed at your own results, but you should look at it as you finally know what you do not know in the subject, and what topics you should concentrate on. From then on, then its the big fish, the real catch, your O levels.

While some of you remain stunned about how helpless you are, you have 2 options left before O levels;

- be strong, face the results and work towards a better one and Take your O levels

- remain stunned, keep reminding yourself how pathetic you are, and STILL Take your O levels


If I were you, I'll definitely choose the first option.
Whether or not you choose either one, you still end up taking the O levels.

I would choose to take it positively and aim to win, rather then to lose right from the start by telling myself I cannot make it. Its do or die time. If the other option is dying, then the obvious choice is to choosing to do it.

Don't give up, because when you do, its already over.

By the way, this isn't a motivation talk, i'm slapping you in the face with words. Time to use your prelim study momentum to propel yourself to O levels.


DDOJ:

Things to do in an Elevator.

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on."

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space"

Adios!

P.S. Only recently then do I find out that I have friends who acts even worse then you kiddos. They redefine the word, Childish.

20th Aug Rainy

Strange things happen everyday, and the most unexpected can happen straight in your face when you least expected it. However when things happen, the most important thing you need to do, is to maintain your cool head, and handle things maturely by understanding the situation. One of the most dangerous thing a person can do, is to judge by using his own thinking, or just listening to another.

I believe in life, we all have to give trust in order to get back trust. I trust that even up till now, even when I see trust given out but only to see lies, deception and backstabbing being given back to me. But I still firmly believe, that is what I should do.

If a person were to doubt you, do not accept you, or treats you coldly, your trust given to that person is reduced to naught, however by doing so, you see the real him/her. It simply means, you've trusted the wrong person, shit happens, move on and stop complaining.

Thats what I will do, and will continue to do.

Thank you for trusting me and making me your friends, my friends. You are all so lovely.


DDOJ:

Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife's beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, as her voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I've got a confession to make before I
go... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house ... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I'm afraid I also was the one who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..."

"That's all right dearest; don't even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I'm the one who poisoned you."

Adios!

19th Aug Warm

Today, Jocelyn made a nice drawing on my food which you all love so much. I think a picture says a thousand words, lets see...


As if that was not enough.... she drew this.........


Maybe we can call that... CREATIVITY. Hats down to you, I think you make a good dreamer, 110% qualify.


DDOJ:

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars laying around, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank to change them out.

It was a short line, just one lady in front of me; An Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was getting alittle irritated.

She asked the teller, “Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty. Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations”.

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people, too!”

Adios!

18th Aug Warm

A pair of evil eyes are looking at me while I am typing my blog. Make it 2 pairs. But well anyway, I'm still going to blog it anyway. She is threatening me to flip the tables right now if I don't delete this blog right now, which I most certainly will not. And now shes calling me an ASS. Take note, that this is in real time, and is happening as I type. She now picks up an eraser and threw it into my face, and I bluff her that I will cancel it to make her not throw it. And now she doesn't want to speak to me. Followed by another pair of evil eye. Ok make it 2.

The situation above is a true story. Sorry, make it a true horror story. No, lets make it a true, funny and horrible, and terrible story. And now the evil eyes have turned watery with laughter.

I can only conclude... with 3 letters... LOL


P.S. The people quoted in the writings are purely NOT fictional, and are highly dangerous and flammable. Please do not try to do this at home, without special guidance.


DDOJ:

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.

After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.”

“DAMN!” said the father.
“What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked.

Little Johnny’s father said, “This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”

ADios!

17th Aug Rainy

Through the years of watching people behave around me, something that still intrigues me is how people can manage to laugh their hearts out, at someone important or above them cracking a non-humorous joke. While the same joke is told by someone normal, they probably don't give a damn about your little speech, or just smile at your silliness.

I have to admit that I myself like to do this, I think its natural, and I think it's not wrong to behave like this too. However I feel if people do this too much, and tries too hard, it really disgusts me. One minute, they can be laughing at you silly, and when that VIP is gone, the face changes into something else.

For students: it happens to all teachers who have invigilator sitting observing the class. When you know someone is watching, you can joke with students, and speak to them nicely. When his gone, all your true colors come out from underneath your skin.

For friends: it happens to everyone who works for a boss. End of the Story. You behave differently in front of a VIP. Need I explain more?


Bottom line is, I don't think this is a wrong behavior per se. However if you know you are doing it, we should reflect and don't try so hard at trying to please others. Just my opinion, you can disagree.


DDOJ:

One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”

Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.

Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surpise, its me the Hippie!”

The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says “Surprise, its me the bus driver!”

Adios!

8th Aug Warm

When I knew that the schools are actually making their students hold hands forming a line from their schools to the next, I had a curious moment of my own. In my mind I was thinking, it'd probably be a nice idea, actually linking the kids together like the unity of Singapore.

However, the irony was the next part.

The entire event was;
- students skip school to avoid doing that
- people held hand for no more then 2 seconds
- the students rush to wait, and wait to rush
- prelims are around the corner, and they are actually asking the students to do that instead of studying
- other then laughing at how stupid they look, the students didn't really felt any Singapore pride
- and the most hilarious part? it's done when the Sun was blaring bright.

My hearts out to you guys.
After all, you are the stars of tomorrow eh?


DDOJ:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Adios!

7th Aug Rainy

The entire late afternoon to evening was cloudy and filled with rain at AMK.

Finish a hong kong drama today, was pretty good. Saw a psychology test in it at the last 3 episodes, where a group of 6 went for an experiment with 2 people conducting the test and explaining the results.

The test went like this:

Conductor: Now I will cover up this box with a black cloth, and here is a cube and a ball. I will put 1 of it inside, and each of you will take turns to put your hand in to feel what it is, but it must be very brief. After which, tell me what you think is inside the box.

The conductor subsequently placed a cube inside, and let the first 5 people touch it, and just before the last person came, they changed the cube to a ball.


Conductor: Now what do you think is inside the box?

The Conductor then ask the last person first, and he said its a ball.
He then ask the rest of the group while they all said cube in unison.

The Conductor then reconfirm the last person's answer by asking him whether he thinks its a cube or a ball again.

Last person: Its a cube I think.

The conductor then replied its a ball, and then removed the black cloth to show him that his first answer was correct indeed. He then explain the following, which is very meaningful.

Sometimes, the truth and answer is right before our eyes, but we refuse to believe in ourselves. Simply because, the others don't think the same. An answer from anyone could change , depending on the surroundings and the influences from other people. Many times, people already made their decisions, but are often afraid to execute them as they are afraid others might see him differently, and to behave differently, live differently from the others. Resulting in making a different decision from your original one.

It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that we lack confidence. Before even beginning to fight, we already lost half the battle. Such mindsets are set out to make you lose. And the scary part is? - We all went through it.


DDOJ:

A joke of different perspective and the power of beliefs.

It is all YOUR perspective – and you get to say what perspective you choose to believe. Neither one is wrong.

It's all in the punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

A Dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!

Adios.

4th Aug Breeze

With my current bed frame, I don't know if its possible for me to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. If there is a choice. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, is it really a bad thing? I keep thinking and thinking, and finally I came up with a conclusion. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed, is actually a good thing. Why? Because you don't get to do it everyday!

Prelims are around the corner, and many people are doing those as listed below:
- panicking
- finding a buddha's leg
- depressing
- emo
- praying
- mugging
- wondering whether the exams can be pushed back further

Good luck to all those listed on top, I'm sure you'll gather good motivation energy by seeing your prelim results, they should give you a good shock if you haven't put in enough effort. If you are still not in shock by then, I'm sure the shock will be on your parents instead.

GOOD LUCK!!

DDOJ:

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Adios!