28th Apr COLD

Days without the Night,
akin to Happiness without Unhappiness.
One without the other,
lacks the contrast needed to define each other.

Life's a piece of shit,
Sweet, Sour, Spicy and Salty digested and released in the end.
When you finally looked at it,
everything's still a piece of shit.

But whoever says we can't be happy living this shitty life,
must be cynical and have shit for brains.
Life isn't what's given to us,
life is what we make it out to be.

Masters of our own life,
like a Chef preparing a gourmet with ingredients of life.
How the dish would taste,
depends on what ingredients we placed into it all the time.

If our life is like a firework,
Don't just die out like a matchstick's little flare.
Damn the shits in life,
Burn brightly and show the most colorful display of yourself.

If life's a piece of shit,
then I want to have the best piece.

What say you then?

DDOJ:

Damn Pathetic Pick Up Lines.....

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep whith me ?

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

Can I borrow your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Be unique and different, say yes.

Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your butt is out of this world.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I must be in heaven cause I've seen an angel

You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.

I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Adios!

27th Apr Warm

Started the day with a lazy yawn. As usual.

Roughly 2 weeks left till Mid-years. I wonder if this pig virus will spread to Taiwan so that I won't have to go for overseas training...


DDOJ:

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

Adios!

Happy Birthday, although you don't know about this blog, nonetheless I wish you a blissful year ahead.

21st Apr Warm

Today received some news that 2 of my monkeys managed to score full marks in their recent test. I am glad for them, and also actually pretty happy.

I have to point out that you scored full marks because you put in the effort to work hard and do work, without that, you couldn't have achieved it.

With this in mind, I would like to point out to the other students. Results of your hard work and tuition doesn't come overnight or instantaneously. If you continue to work hard, and try to catch up by following what you are being taught and told to, it will eventually show it's results sooner or later.

If you are over-contented, and you only practice POA once a week, 2 hrs at my place ONLY, I am very sorry to say you are severely underestimating the exams. Nobody can achieve good results without ample studies.

With that, congratz again to the 3 monkeys, I'm really glad you are satisfied you finally see results now. Love you guys.


DDOJ:

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.

Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."

The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."

Adios!

20th Apr Warm

Hey Happy Birthday Jocelyn Sim, and happy first day of school too.
Don't go around flipping tables around in Poly ok, try flipping desks this time.


I promised Annej I would remix the song Built to Last for her condition right now, I'm sure shes happily having her bread diet right now.

I've looked for bread in stranger places,
but never found a bread like you.
Some bread whose taste makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can eat.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms my inside just like it should,
but most of all~ most of all~ my bread is cute~

All of my friends saw from the start,
So why didn't i believe it too?
Whoa yeah! now look what i'm doin'
Bread's in my stomach now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all~ most of all~ I got no choice~

Don't worry Annej, your allergy will go away soon, and hope this song gives your bread more tastes.

DDOJ:

The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased.

A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly the hypnotist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor...

"Shit" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the town hall.

Adios!

19th Apr Warm HOT Warm

Tomorrow marks the first day of school for many of my ex students from last year, here on, I will give you some kind advices to start your school with.


- make lots of friends and don't be anti social,

- 3 years of your tertiary life will zoom past faster then your sec school life so enjoy it to the fullest,

- nobody's watching you anymore but it doesn't means you shouldn't behave,

- be nice, and don't start all the adult nonsenses, you aren't an adult yet,

- poly life is not easier then JC life, if you think it that way, you'll do badly,

- study smart, and use what I thought you to make your own notes during lectures and tutorials,




- .............. (and chat with me on msn now and then, I'll miss you guys)



DDOJ:

Jack and Jill Rhyme

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,

Jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked Jill if she wanna.

Jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun.

But stupid Jill forgot the pill,
and now they have a son

Adios!

18th Apr WARM WARM WARM

I've put up a second post, simply because of this video.

I have to be very frank, the video is really touching, go watch it and feel what it feels to be extra-ordinary, and believing in yourself.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY&feature=related

18th Apr Warm

Finally too many people have been telling me those pictures of Dion are too gross to keep up in my blog, hence I shall wash it away with another post.

Mixed feelings post.

Recently I've been getting to realize that in this world, there are really those kind of people you see in the drama. People who are extremely kind, and people who are really bad to the bones. For those people who just seemingly cannot think straight, and just lie their entire life, they are really the sad people living on this globe. Their whole life is a lie. They cannot achieve much without lying, even their very existence is a lie.

Dramas often portray these people as not having a good ending. Life is like a drama, we won't know the ending until we live till the end and see it for ourselves. However, that's only the negative side of living. There are still some dramas with villainous characters turning for the better at the end, it is just a matter of sooner or later, or even Never.

If you have such people around you, my advice to you is not to discard these people from your life. Help them if you can, if you can't, just be quiet and don't do anything unnecessary to them. Their life isn't yours, and you do not have to worry for them.

If they were to live a sad life, you do not have to live it with them.


Enough of those crap people in our lives, we should always look at the positive side of life and see the world in a more colorful kaleidoscope. Always better things to do and think about, try not to be a sucker and live happily, my friends.



DDOJ:

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan..."

Adios!

12th April Rainy

I started my day of teaching with.....

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Guess what it is???
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By now you should be able to guess what is is... but do YOU know who it is???
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小馒头 in the freaking nose.
Picture speaks a thousand words.
So true.


Look what these spastic people do everyday at class...

Kinda makes you whether I should use those insults in my earlier posts on them or not ehh? Kinda fitting if you ask me! Once again, a picture speaks a thousand words....




DDOJ:

While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off.

A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish.

The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ."

"OK, alright" the guy responds.

"Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii."

This pisses the genie off.

He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical."

"Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ."

"Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women."

The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four? "

Adios!

9th April Warm

Totally Melted.

1st April Warm

Happy April Fools Day!


Anyway, all my MSN contacts were deleted, some kinda virus has invaded my hotmail I think, and none of any contacts were left behind. All killed.

So kindly add me back into MSN again if you ever want to talk to me in MSN again yea?

DDOJ:

This is some funny students insults I found on the net.
I pray I'll never have to use them on anybody LOL.
Take it with a pinch of salt, its just jokes =p

It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

I would not allow this student to breed.

Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

Adios!

31st Mar Warm

It was a warm day yet again, started air-con 2 hrs before tuition to let the room be cooler before the group arrives. Its acting weird, probably needs servicing soon. Good news to the munchers, I replenished my snacks, they are back in action now. Go Go Xiao Man Tou!!

Remix of "You had a Bad Day"
(switch on this song to listen while you read the lyrics)

Where is the studies we needed the most
You kick up a fuss and the fun is all lost
They tell me your grades all fade to RED
They tell me your A's have gone away
And tuition do you care or not?

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile as you see your marks gone
You tell me your work's been way off line
P.O.A failing every time
And I don't need to say no more~

Because you had a bad grade
You're taking F9
You sing this sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work with a smile and you came for a class
You can't be that suay
but exams don't lie
You're starting over and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
We'll make it one day

DDOJ:

A Firing Squad at Execution side.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde get captured and are placed before a firing squad.

They are about to be executed and the brunette says "Look...Hurricane" and points to her left while she gets away.

The redhead girl says "Look...Tornado", points and gets away.

Finally the blonde tries to do the same thing she says "FIRE"

Adios!